Top 10 List

From maineiac.com

The Top 15 Ideas for Useless Inventions

15. Battery-powered battery charger.

14. Car steering triangles — doubles as an anti-theft device.

13. Cast iron wire.

12. Dehydrated water.

11. Diet celery.

10. Digital clock-winder.

9. Double-sided playing cards.

8. Downhill Stairmaster.

7. Fine glass-crystal castanets.

6. Foam rubber toothpicks.

5. Freeze Dried Water.

4. Frictionless Sandpaper.

3. Inflatable dart board.

2. Matte finish floor wax.

And the #1 Top Idea for Useless Inventions…

1. Non-intrusive alarm clock (raises a flag instead of ringing a bell).

The Elf on the Shelf tradition started back in 2005 when Carol Aebersold and her daughter Chanda Bell self-published the book “The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition” along with a special box with a small Scout Elf inside. In an interview with “The News with Shepard Smith,” Bell said the tradition is like a “simple game of hide and seek.” 

Or did it???

I remember as far back as 1964 there being an elf on our shelf at home. He came as a decoration on an FTD holiday bouquet. Maybe Ms. Aebersold invented a way to find fame and fortune with the elf, but the elf was definitely alive and well and living in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio in 1964,

Unlikely Old Chinese Proverbs

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.

Man who streaks is unsuited for his work.

Girl who does everything under the sun gets everything sunburned.

Man who places head in sand will get kicked in the end.

Man who gets too big for his britches may get exposed in the end.

Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.

Man who sinks into woman’s arms soon will find arms in woman’s sink.

All men eat, but Fu Man Chu.

Girl who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

If you want a pretty nurse, you must be patient.

Modern house without toilet is uncanny.

Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion.

Who followed Snap, Crackle, and Pop?

You’ll have to listen to find out!

Why did the squirrel bury her lottery tickets under a bush?

She was hedging her bets.

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for a lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore–unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

Some buzzwords are reviled, despised, mocked, and hated by people in and outside the world of business. Maybe because…

They say: Extensive effort is being applied on a fresh approach to the problem.

They mean: The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

---

They mean:  We just hired three new guys; we’ll let them kick it around for a while.

They say: Preliminary operational tests are inconclusive       

---

They say: The entire concept will have to be abandoned         

They mean: The only guy who understood the thing quit.

Curious Sayings/Words From wikipedia   The moon is made of green cheese   The Moon is made of green cheese” is a statement referring to a fanciful belief that the Moon is composed of cheese. In its original formulation as a proverb and metaphor for credulity with roots in fable, this refers to the perception of a simpleton who sees a reflection of the Moon in water and mistakes it for a round cheese wheel. It is widespread as a folkloric motif among many of the world’s cultures, and the notion has also found its way into children’s folklore and modern popular culture. The Scottish tale of the wolf fishing with his tail for the moon reflection is one such iteration. “The Tale of the Fox’s Tail”   One day the wolf and the fox were out together, and they stole a dish of crowdie. Now the wolf was the biggest beast of the two, and he had a long tail like a greyhound and great teeth. The fox was afraid of him and did not dare to say a word when the wolf ate most of the crowdie and left only a little at the bottom of the dish for him, but he determined to punish him for it; so the next night when they were out together the fox said, “I smell a very nice cheese, and (pointing to the moonshine on the ice) there it is too.”   “And how will you get it?” said the wolf.   “Well, stop you here till I see if the farmer is asleep, and if you keep your tail on it, nobody will see you or know that it is there. Keep it steady. I may be some time coming back.”   So the wolf lay down and laid his tail on the moonshine in the ice, and kept it for an hour till it was fast (definition=stuck).   Then the fox, who had been watching him, ran to the farmer and said, “The wolf is there; he will eat up the children — the wolf! the wolf!”   Then the farmer and his wife came out with sticks to kill the wolf, but the wolf ran off leaving his tail behind him, and that’s why the wolf is stumpy-tailed to this day, though the fox has a long brushy tail.